Diagnosis: Stage IV Liberal

This is a conversation Matt and I have as I'm putting on lotion. (It smells like cloves and hippies)

Matt: Is that your hippie stuff?

Me: Yup

Matt: Ewww Gross.

Me: It's not like you can catch "Liberal"

Matt: (In a serious, doctor tone) I'm sorry, but there's really nothing we can do. With Stage IV Liberal...it's inoperable

Me: (In equally serious voice) You just have to let them go.

True Story